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Men are visual; women are verbal. Men are impulsive; women like to analyze things. So, instead of saying the words, “I love you,” do these 11 more meaningful gestures to your husband/boyfriend that show you care.
1. Give Your Undivided Attention
“When the male brain sees you checking your iPhone during dinner, it interprets that as ‘I’m not important,’” says marriage therapist Mike Dow, PsyD. That’s because men’s brains evolved to do one thing at a time while filtering out all other stimuli, he explains. Even though women function differently (you know firsthand how well you multitask), your man will appreciate you focusing solely on him. “It says, ‘You are my priority, and I love you,’” adds Dr. Dow. So make eye contact while he’s talking and limit interruptions.
“When the male brain sees you checking your iPhone during dinner, it interprets that as ‘I’m not important,’” says marriage therapist Mike Dow, PsyD. That’s because men’s brains evolved to do one thing at a time while filtering out all other stimuli, he explains. Even though women function differently (you know firsthand how well you multitask), your man will appreciate you focusing solely on him. “It says, ‘You are my priority, and I love you,’” adds Dr. Dow. So make eye contact while he’s talking and limit interruptions.
2. Cook His Favorite Meal
“The best way to a man’s heart may be through his belly,” says Dr. Dow. “Knowing what he likes to eat without having to ask him demonstrates how well you know him. And the couples I’ve treated who know small details about each other have the happiest marriages.” But maybe your husband likes everything you make! In that case, try breaking out the pumpkin pie. Research by Alan Hirsch, PhD, of the Smell & Taste Research Foundation in Chicago has shown that that sweet scent arouses men more than other aromas.
“The best way to a man’s heart may be through his belly,” says Dr. Dow. “Knowing what he likes to eat without having to ask him demonstrates how well you know him. And the couples I’ve treated who know small details about each other have the happiest marriages.” But maybe your husband likes everything you make! In that case, try breaking out the pumpkin pie. Research by Alan Hirsch, PhD, of the Smell & Taste Research Foundation in Chicago has shown that that sweet scent arouses men more than other aromas.
3. Wear That Dress He Loves You In
“Men’s brains are wired to respond to visual cues more than women’s brains,” says Dr. Dow. “Seeing you in that sexy dress shows him you desire him.” A study by researchers at the University of Rochester in New York found that ladies in red are an aphrodisiac to men.
“Men’s brains are wired to respond to visual cues more than women’s brains,” says Dr. Dow. “Seeing you in that sexy dress shows him you desire him.” A study by researchers at the University of Rochester in New York found that ladies in red are an aphrodisiac to men.
4. Take Care Of Yourself
Shedding stress, eating right, exercising, quitting smoking and even pampering yourself may sound like treats for you, but they’re also ways to show you love him. “This communicates, ‘I want to have a long, wonderful life with you, and I’ll do whatever it takes to prevent you from experiencing the grief of losing someone,’” says Dr. Dow.
Shedding stress, eating right, exercising, quitting smoking and even pampering yourself may sound like treats for you, but they’re also ways to show you love him. “This communicates, ‘I want to have a long, wonderful life with you, and I’ll do whatever it takes to prevent you from experiencing the grief of losing someone,’” says Dr. Dow.
5. Compliment Him
“Genuine compliments on his looks and strength confirm that you admire him, which equates to love,” says clinical psychologist Andra Brosh, PhD.
“Genuine compliments on his looks and strength confirm that you admire him, which equates to love,” says clinical psychologist Andra Brosh, PhD.
6. Encourage Him To Take Time For Himself
Occasionally, suggest he take a day to relax with friends, play video games, work on the car or just sleep in. “This shows support and allows him the freedom to do what he needs to be his best self,” says Dr. Brosh.
Occasionally, suggest he take a day to relax with friends, play video games, work on the car or just sleep in. “This shows support and allows him the freedom to do what he needs to be his best self,” says Dr. Brosh.
7. Ask His Advice
“When a man can fix something, he feels competent and useful,” says Dr. Brosh. “Asking for advice shows that you rely on him and that there’s a place for him in your life. Need, dependency and love go hand in hand.”
“When a man can fix something, he feels competent and useful,” says Dr. Brosh. “Asking for advice shows that you rely on him and that there’s a place for him in your life. Need, dependency and love go hand in hand.”
8. Thank Him For The Little Things
“We’re rushing through life, we forget to notice the good deeds and guys forget to say what they need from you, but they have feelings, too. So say, ‘I really appreciate that,’” says licensed marriage and family therapist Carin Goldstein, creator of BetheSmartWife.com. Giving thanks will improve his attitude and infuse your relationship with a feel-good energy.
“We’re rushing through life, we forget to notice the good deeds and guys forget to say what they need from you, but they have feelings, too. So say, ‘I really appreciate that,’” says licensed marriage and family therapist Carin Goldstein, creator of BetheSmartWife.com. Giving thanks will improve his attitude and infuse your relationship with a feel-good energy.
9. Give Him A Lengthy Hug
Instead of a quick peck before running out the door, choose a lingering embrace. “While women connect verbally, men connect more through touch,” says Goldstein. “Hug for at least seven seconds. It’s a long time, but there’s something about that number where the hold ends up really giving him something.”
Instead of a quick peck before running out the door, choose a lingering embrace. “While women connect verbally, men connect more through touch,” says Goldstein. “Hug for at least seven seconds. It’s a long time, but there’s something about that number where the hold ends up really giving him something.”
10. A Quickie
Making love for an hour is nice, but once in a while, have sex for just a few minutes, suggests Dr. Dow. Although women get that loving feeling with a rise in oxytocin (what you release during that post-coital cuddling session), men feel it with an increase in dopamine, the chemical they release during sex which stimulates the mental pleasure-and-reward center, explains Dr. Dow. “I hope that most of the time, your lovemaking is full of foreplay and romance. But other times, just have sex.”
Making love for an hour is nice, but once in a while, have sex for just a few minutes, suggests Dr. Dow. Although women get that loving feeling with a rise in oxytocin (what you release during that post-coital cuddling session), men feel it with an increase in dopamine, the chemical they release during sex which stimulates the mental pleasure-and-reward center, explains Dr. Dow. “I hope that most of the time, your lovemaking is full of foreplay and romance. But other times, just have sex.”
11. Let Him Vent
“Listen to his worries or problems without trying to fix them,” advises Dr. Brosh. “It shows him you don’t deem him weak or inadequate and affords him a place in the relationship to share that part of his life. Moreover, it shows you care.”
“Listen to his worries or problems without trying to fix them,” advises Dr. Brosh. “It shows him you don’t deem him weak or inadequate and affords him a place in the relationship to share that part of his life. Moreover, it shows you care.”
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Posted by LORETTA H
